Ask Jun Hong, he knows it all...

Saturday, April 15, 2006

House of Mess

Been really busy lately, and one of the reason is the renovation of my apartment. A residence's presence is required at during the work from the 6th April to the 19th April. Oh and I got the honourable job since my parents work and my brother is still schooling.

So everyday, I had to wake up at 7 a.m, brush my teeth, use the lousy temporary toilet before the foreign workers start moving in at around 8 a.m. And then I would stone til around 5p.m. when the workers move out. So much for a life.

One thing hit my mind during the renovation works, I felt as i I'm really similar to a common household electrical appliance- the vacuumm cleaner.

Why? It sucks in dust, I eat them. See the resemblance?

Anyway, here's a look at my shabby little home.





This is how the condition of my home has been like for a couple of days.

It looks as if there is a bio-hazadrous chemical warfare in my house.

Anyone watched E.T, the movie? There's this scene in the movie where the boy's house got sealed up by the government forces. His house kinda resembled mine.

Dust, go dust! Scatter and fly all over like some sua kus and hug yourselves to our furnitures as if you've never seen one before.

I'm going mad.

Oh well 4 more days to go.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Sao Mu

Every once a year, during the Qing Ming Festival, I would go to the cemetry with my relatives to sao mu (bluntly translated, 'sweep tomb'). Tomb sweeping? I think 'tomb cleaning' sounds nicer.

I'm not a very traditional or religious person (I do not have a religion), I just do it for old time's sake.

I introduce you, my Ah Gong (Grandfather).



Ah Gong was a man of mystery back then when he was alive and not kicking. Why is he so?

Because my only recollection of him was him sitting on a couch, not moving, not making any noise. And naturally, he produced an aura of mystery. Well, at least that was how it was like to me.

Ah Gong's tomb is guarded by two stone lions. One on each side.


Cool, right?



Engraved on his tomb stone are names of his children and grandchildren.

Can you spot my name?



There! Circled for you, in RED.

We first had to clean his tomb and then decorate it with offerings and other stuff.


Nicely done, don't you think so?


Pretty colourful.

It is also in the custom that we should offer our already-kicked-the-bucket family members some, erm... offerings, yeah.

I, member of the Toh family should show you how we do it.

First, toss all the incense paper and the paper yuan baos (taels) on the ground. This serves as the base.



This is the first level.

Next, scatter hell notes over the first level. This will add on to the pile.



There you have it! The second level is complete.

Now, you should stack some paper items at the peak of this pile. Preferably, items that the passed-away like when he/she was alive.

For our Ah Gong, we gave a paper motorcycle and a pair of paper shoes. With so much hell notes we gave him, he can buy whatever he wants down there.



Done! Ah Gong is a fortunate dead man.

Lastly, start the fire.

And...


Let it burn...

Burn, burn, burn to hell! Oops, I mean to the 'spiritual world'.

Soon, the sky turned gloomy. Dark clouds were spotted. Comments like "O' heaven is crying for us!" reached my ears.

I was like, "Yeah, right. It probably has something to do with the air pollution caused by all that burning."

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I'm an April's Fool.

Today is April's Fools Day.

It is a sad day.

Particularly for me.

I so cannot believe I fell for 2 April's Fools pranks!

I am angry.

So very angry.

My kaypoh-ness care and concern was betrayed.

I am traumatised.

I was fooled by amatuer pranksters.

I can't believe it.

Anyway, thanks for polling for your Yellow Yellow Stupid Fellow. But sad to say, nobody will be bestowed the title. Why? Because I'm lazy and two of them are tied at the current moment I'm typing this this is an April's Fools Day joke!

Hahaha! Not funny meh?

*laugh to myself*

Besides, it is mean to call people stupid.

I apologise to those people who voted, sorry for wasting your time (even though it only takes a few seconds).

Meanwhile, I'm leaving the poll there, so if you're ultra bo liao, go click on it and amuse yourself.

I'm still shocked from being pranked.

Watch out for me for I will be back next year!