Ask Jun Hong, he knows it all...

Saturday, January 14, 2006

E-mails of the day!

Finally! I've got two people writing me e-mails telling me about their problems. It's now time to see how Ask Jun Hong tackles them.

E-mail 1:

Dear Jun Hong,

Im a 16yr old gal and currently in sec 4. Since sch started, i hab met alot of sec 1 students during orientation camp. I m beri attracted to one of em. Lets call him cuteboi. I first met cuteboi near the toilet. I was the toilet i/c and mi job was to show the new sec1s where the toilets are located. Cuteboi wanted to poop worx. He asked mi if I had any toilet paper with me beacuse there wasn't any in the boi's toilet. I held out a roll of unused toilet paper, gave it to him and smiled sweetly. He thanked mi and continued his buisness. After that, images of him kept appearin in mi head. I think about him all the time, ecsp when im shittin. Sighx.. wad do u tink I shud do?

-Madly in love with cuteboi de cutegal

Jun Hong's reply:

Dear cutegal, I must say that your problem is indeed unique. This looks like a typical girl-loves-guy-and-cannot-forget-him situation. However, I'm sorry to tell you that there is more to it then it meets the eye. Firstly you do notice you have pedophilic thoughts right? Cuteboi, or whatever his name his, is only 12. He is still considered a child in the eyes of the law. And I'm not sure if he has started growing hair in the pits yet.

I am going to point out something more intriguing. You think of cuteboi ecspecially when you're defecating?! You do have a very distorted mind. Flush your dirty and disgusting thoughts away. I recommend sticking your head into the toilet bowl and keep flushing it until you have no more thoughts of cuteboi. I wish you success in forgetting him.

E-mail 2:

Eh siao ehx.. u noe how to go to lot1 anot? i live teckwhye n i wan go to lot1 the kbox to sing hokkien song wif my kakis.. i m Ah Long Long i tell u firz.

Jun Hong's reply:

Hello there, Ah Long Long. You can take bus service 190, 985 and 975 from Teck Whye to Lot 1. Bus service 190 and 985 will drop you at the bus interchange which is only a stone's throw away to Lot 1. Ask the people around if you're not sure. Alight at the bus stop opposite a shopping centre if you're taking bus service 975. That shoppin centre is Lot 1. Again, ask if you're not sure. Hope this has been useful to you.

PS: I love hokkien songs too! Invite me the next time you're going with your friends ok, Ah Long Long?

Keep those distress messages coming in! Ask Jun Hong will be more than delighted to help you with them. Flood my e-mail inbox!


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