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Friday, January 27, 2006

doOmSday...

Hey all, I'm not trying to act adorable and cute with my title's irregular Caps, If you look deeper into it, there's a meaning.

Ok, I know I'm not giving out much hints here, so I'm going to explain it to you guys. (I think in almost all my entries, I had to explain something. It's either I assume that majority of my readers are not that bright or it's my mind that's too complex and whacky for them.)

*ball flies through the window and hit me on the head!*

Alright, it's my mind then.

So 'doOmSday', notice only the 'O' and the 'S'. Incoherently place them together, and you get 'OS'. How do you say it in verbal speech? Pronounce 'oh-s'.

"Oh! Oh-s!" You're probably gonna shriek in joy for understanding this.

Now, so 'oh-s' simply refers to the GCE 'O' Level Examination. And I hereby highly recommend all those who are currently waiting for their GCE 'O' Level Examination results to pay particular attention to this entry.

Where do you think you're going?

Just because you have not taken the exam doesn't mean you don't have to read. Your turn will come!

And for those who have already recieved your results, be it 50 years ago, read on for entertainment's sake.

To all my dear friends who are currently waiting for their results, I know most of us have heard many rumors as to when the results will be released. I know of alot. They range from the first date to the last date of February 2006.

I'm not here to clarify if any of the rumors are true. I'm here only to share some useful tips with you guys.

*Start Scenario*

You recieved your results. To your horror, you got terrible grades. What's next? Think of where or which courses you should go? Think of re-taking your 'O' Levels? Think of committing suicide?

NO!

The next thing you should do is to avoid embarassment!

Ok, your most-hated-schoolmate come up to you, gloating with joy, he/she obviously got good results. Damned!

"Hey, why you look so grim? You get poor results uh?" he/she asked.

Always remember, pride and dignity comes first! Say something like,

"No lar, I'm considering whether to go Raffles JC or Hwa Chong Instituition. So hard to decide leh."

Hahaha, that would probably wipe the smirk off his/her face.

Next you should try your best to avoid are nosey relatives. Close relatives are ok, but those who you have not spoken to for like 10 years, get as far away as possible from them. They are up to no good, trust me.

They are your typical gossipy aunties, only that you're related to them and they have the ability to let even your furthest long-distant relatives know. Let's say that one of these nosey relatives is your aunt. (I'm not stereotyping females here, but come on, we all know that gossiping and females have a common link.)

So, you're unfortunate enough to pick up the phone when your aunt called you. This is what you should say.

Aunt: Halo? You are boyboy/girlgirl uh?

You: Err... I think so, you are?

Aunt: Oh, Im your 'who-and-who' lar, don't tell me you forget me already leh.

You: Oh, no lar *pretend to recall*, I remember.

Aunt: So your 'O' level how?

You: Oh, not bad lor, average results.

Aunt: So how much your L1R4 and L1R5?

You: Huh? Cannot hear properly.

Just when she's going to repeat, make some muffling noises to blur out what she said. (Try blowing into the phone.)

You: Huh? Cannot hear leh, can repeat again?

Make the muffling noise again.

You: Eh sorry leh, I think reception not good, I'm quite busy also, talk next time, bye!

Hang up the phone. You're saved... for now.

*End Scenario*

Ok, worst enemy and kaypoh relatives down. Who's next?

Because I'm unable to predict who you might meet, here are some things you can say to save yourself from embarassing moments:

"MOE postpone the release of the results, so I don't know myself."

"Oh, I score WAY better than your daughter/son."

"I never got to see my results, I think my teacher hid it from me."

"My mother told me not to tell anyone."

Worst come to worst, feign ignorance.

"Huh? What 'O' Levels? Results? Are you sure you're asking the right person?"


I hope this entry helps.

:)

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