Ask Jun Hong, he knows it all...

Friday, January 20, 2006

Crazy Stacy!

Hello everybody! Today I'm going to tell you a story on Crazy Stacy.

It was around 7.45 pm. I was arranging some boxes of Ricola candies on the shelf just outside Guardian Health and Beauty. I was happily arranging the boxes until my colleague, Linda rushed out.

"Colin! Colin! Did you see the lady in yellow? She just walked out of the shop with our products!"

"Err, nope I was too engrossed with the Ricola boxes, why?" I replied.

"That customer left with our products and she left her NETS card here. And her NETS card has been declined." Linda explained.

At that moment, I thought the worst. The card the 'customer' produced must not have been hers, meaning, we had been had and she got away with out things. This is preposterous! The nerve of her to shoplift right under my nose!

But then what was done was done, right?

Linda scurried to SC, our pharmacist cum in-charge and told her the situation. They viewed the CCTV again to confirm it.

The CCTV showed the lady putting her 'purchases' into a yellow Shop N Save bag and walked out of the store.

While they were watching that, I continued doing my own stuff; shelving of items, updating of price tickets and cashiering. I did not give much thought about it. Well, no doubt it was a shop-lifting case, but I did not see the woman in yellow, neither was I the cashier and most importantly, I'm just a part-timer.

Then came 9.45pm. I was about to close the last shutter; there were three, when I caught a glimpse of a yellow fabric hurrying towards out me. She went into the shop and saw Linda.

Linda was overjoyed and exclaimed "Ahh.. It's you!" It was as though she had seen her long lost friend.

The woman asked for her NETS card and we told her that her card has been declined. She took out a VISA card and said "Try this."

As Linda slashed the card downwards against the slot of the reader, the woman went around the store getting more stuff and placed it on the counter.

The card was rejected.

The lady in yellow took out another VISA card and handled it to Linda. And as expected, it was declined again.

She then murmured to herself and went out of the store.

At this moment SC chased after the lady. She followed the lady and asked Linda to come along. I was left alone, in the shop. I pondered over what I was going to do. Well, there didn't seem much I could do, so I just sat infront of the shop on the floor. Now, imagine watch-dog.

After sitting there alone for what seemed like hours, I saw the familiar yellow fabric again. I thought she had settled whatever she was going to and decided to come into the shop and pay up. She did not.

She just walked passed me and I looked at my colleagues tagging along. They gave me the I-also-don't-know-what-she's-up-to look. Then Linda said that since I'm a guy I should tag along and she would mind the store. So Linda passed me the baton and I ran to catch up wif the strange woman. So now, it's me and SC tagging behind. We followed the weirdo into Shop N Save and she got herself Redbull and paid for it with some coins.

She walked out of Shop N Save with us still behind her, then SC asked her where she was going. She said she was going to the bank. Take note, there was no bank in the vincity as far as I know and the banks would be closed now, wouldn't they. She went to a nearby foodcourt, sat down at a table and drank her Redbull.

Being fairly annoyed, I pulled out a chair and sat. I looked at her face, showing my displease. She could not stand my staring so she got up and began fleeting. She was walking really FAST, I tell you. Well, not that I couldn't catch up, but I'm just saying that it was no stroll in the park. I believed she was mentally unstable.

She led us to a second-hand cellphone shop and she said she must have left the Shop N Save bag with some store, probably at the cellphone shop. Now, what kind of person leaves her shopping bag lying around in other people's shops?

She asked the man behind the counter if she had left a yellow bag with them. He said in Mandarin "No, but you left a bag of clothes you bought from the boutique beside ours." That's a 6 on the weird-o-metre.

We went past Guardian again and I told SC to inform the police. And now, it was all up to me to tail her. I started to think what she might do to me. Would she turn around and hit me or would she just run? I was pretty sure that if we were to fight, I could knock her out in one blow, seriously. Hey, I'm a wushu practicioner and I'm a guy afterall, right? And if she were to run, I'm sure I can outrun this plump woman wearing a pair of slip-ons.

I then started to have this funny thought in my mind. Maybe she thought that Redbull really gives her wings and she could fly away to get rid of us. I was laughing in my mind. I thought she had been leading us on a wild goose chase and I decided to confront her.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her.

"I'm going in front." She mumbled.

"Yea, in front but where?" I provoked her now unsteady mind.

"Then you don't follow me lar!" She said a little louder.

"Can you not be stupid?! You took our stuff without paying and you want to get away with it?!" I ranged my voice abit higher than hers.

I know that wasn't exactly part of good customer service, but heck, she wasn't even a customer!
She kept mum and continued to hurry. As she walked past another shop, I realised that she owed the shop-owner money too. The shop owner asked her to hurry and pay up as they were in a hurry to return home. There was an increase in the reading on the weird-o-metre.

They talked for a while (I did not hear their conversation) and that weirdo continued her fast-paced walk. SC caught up wif me and whispered in my ear that they had already informed the police. I nodded.

I asked the lady what the problem was. She started saying how the bank's system was slow and so her card was rejected, blah, blah, blah. Like I actually believed what she said. I then asked her what she was intending to do with her unsettled purchases.

"I don't remember taking any thing from your shop." Her reply had me toatally stunned. She changed her statement completely.

"Your actions were all caught on our shop's CCTV, if you insist on not taking anything from our store, then come with us and view it." I said, proving to her that I'm not an idiot who takes in whatever nonsense she spouts.

"Fine." she said and we went back to Guardian with that weirdo in yellow still in the lead.

Back at the shop she kept insisting she did not take any of our things. When she wanted to leave, I closed down the last shutter, blocked the exit and asked her "Where do you think you're going? You haven't paid yet."

More denials from her. That's it, I had enough.


Linda was a little shocked herself too.

She threw a tantrum and sat down on the floor.

"I'm not interested in watching the CCTV. Don't let me go isit? Fine, I'll sit down here. Better, still got air-con!"

I was really disgusted by her behaviour. Just as I was reaching out for a huge bottle of mineral water to conk her head with, I heard someone opening the shutters. It was the police! Thank goodness!

We explained everything to the police, we showed them the invoices printed out and replayed the CCTV as evidence. The police screened her passport for identification and searched her handbag. It was later confirmed that the lady was mentally ill. It didn't take me that long to figure out, sheesh.

I overheard that her name was Stacy. Then the restless Stacy walked around the shop and she went to the cosmetic section and began taking some products and handed them out to Linda. I took over Linda. I took every item she handed me and placed them back right in front of her. She seemed pretty pissed. Stacy turned and look at me and I just grinned. This is for trying to be funny with me.

Crazy Stacy wandered around the store and kept complaining about how the police and Guardian were 'lousy', 'slow', 'inefficient', etc. She also showed her agitation by throwing our items onto the floor. One of the policemen shouted "MS!"

Crazy Stacy continued and the policeman went to her and severely warned her and told her off. Then another policeman continued to humour her, talking some nonsense like "Stacy, you can't go out now, all the roads are closed for the lion dance, and this lion is hard to control." I laughed, seeing how crazy Stacy really believed the policeman.

Then crazy Stacy wanted to go to the washroom.

"I want to go to the toilet!"

The policeman replied her saying that he was more urgent than her but even the toilets were closed. Me and another policeman laughed at that.

Crazy Stacy then went on a rampage again because she was not allowed to the restroom. She knocked some toothbrushes off the racks and kicked over a pail of water which was used to clean the shelves. The water was really filthy. THAT BITCH!

I jumped when I heard crazy Stacy shrieked "I want to go to the toillleeeeetttt!"

She shrieked the second time and I jumped again. If there's really one thing I detest, it's shrieking; at the highest possible pitch. SC, Linda and I, then had to clear up her mess. I was cursing her under my breath when I was cleaning the spill.

She was handcuffed and was forced to sit down with a policman holding her down on her back. I think it's to prevent her legs from kicking.

Halfway clearing the mess, I asked Linda,

"What would you do if she were to pee here?"

"I ask her to wipe it up herself!" It cracked me up.

After removing much of the water (not the pee), I suggested to gag crazy Stacy with our dirty and soggy rags. Lol! If you don't find this amusing, picture it.

Things are pretty much dull form here onwards. Crazy Stacy's family members came, talked to the police and the police brought her out. YAY! GET LOST, CRAZY STACY!

The three of us did the closing of the store and left at ard 1am, all thanks to crazy Stacy.

But come to think of it, as I'm typing this entry, I'm getting more and more convinced that crazy Stacy is actually a messenger sent by the suprerior beings above. Her purpose? To create a story so I can blog about it.

Stacy's mom! She's got it goin on,
She's all that dumb,
And I've stood her for so long,
Stacy I know you can't see,
But you're just not the type for me,
I know I'm always wrong,
but I'm definitely not in love with Stacy, nor her mom.


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